


feel special

by orphan_account



Category: GOT7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-11-28 21:51:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20973623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: we on some family shit





	1. Chapter 1

“Stop messing around, Yugyeom!” Jaebum shouted. “Your hands are all wrong!”

It had been an exhausting week. 

It was one of those weeks where everything seemed to have piled on top of one another and the boys found themselves with hardly any chance to eat, let alone sleep. They had managed to find time in between photoshoots and during car rides to and from practice and performances to doze off, but everyone was presently running on fumes and extremely high-strung as they approached the fourth hour of dance practice. 

“You’re over there, Bam!”

They had been essentially locked in the practice studio at JYP headquarters for far too long. Through the window, they could see the snow starting to float down, the sky greying as evening approached. 

“No, this is my spot! You’re over there!” 

It was a bad idea, they knew, attempting to learn new choreography while they were so tired, but they had a special performance stage coming up for the New Year that they were hardly prepared for. 

Jinyoung found himself having to stop mid-choreography, the headache that had crept to his temples an hour ago intensifying, not at all helped by the shouting and EDM mix blaring through the speakers. 

Pressing his eyes shut, he ran a hand roughly through his hair. He was frustrated and just so damn tired.

Someone thankfully paused the music. Their choreography was in shambles and their willpower barely hanging by a thread. There was a moment of stillness before a loud groan as Youngjae flopped to the ground, followed by Jackson who dragged Mark down with him. 

Jaebum reached up to wrench his hat off, squatting in the corner of the room, surveying the state of his team before him. 

“You’re supposed to be over there!” Yugyeom scolded, jabbing a finger to his left. 

“No, I’m not! That’s for the other part, stupid!” Bambam shouted back, just as forcefully. 

Faces haggard, the hyungs watched on. Jackson had somehow managed to maneuver a boneless Mark onto his chest, tangling their legs and arms as they watched the younger two bickering. 

Youngjae lay curled on the floor, nearly but not quite asleep. Jinyoung could already see his blinks slowing down as he fought fatigue. For the better part of the past few weeks, Youngjae had latched onto Jinyoung’s side, falling asleep on his shoulder or lap. The worst part of it all was when Jinyoung would have to wake him up, to which Youngjae would jerk awake, and Jinyoung could do nothing but gently squeeze his hand, feeling like the world’s biggest villain after Youngjae would shoot him a pleading look and Jinyoung could only usher him off to the next thing on their schedule.

“I know you’re tired. I’m sorry.” He’d murmur brokenly over the quiet whining as he practically dragged Youngjae to a 2 AM practice.

Every time this happened Jinyoung would seek Jaebum after, launching into a heated tirade as he insisted that the kids needed a break and how dangerous it was getting for their health. Jaebum agreed of course, the guilt immense on his shoulders, promising that the end of the month was near and they were getting a well-deserved break as soon as they were done. 

“I’m sorry, I know it’s really hard for you too.” Jinyoung said quietly after a particularly spirited rant one afternoon in a corner away from everyone else, berating himself for not realizing sooner how Jaebum was probably feeling. He pressed his forehead against his boyfriend’s, the realization hitting him that Jaebum was absolutely worked to the bone trying to keep everyone together, especially Jinyoung, who would have unravelled by now if it hadn’t have been for Jaebum as his constant pillar of strength.

“It’s hard on everyone, babe. You’re tired too.” Jaebum pulled Jinyoung into his chest, wrapping his arms around him, and Jinyoung wanted to curl up and stay in his warmth forever. 

“No, it’s not!” 

“Yes, it is, you little shit!” 

Jinyoung snapped out of his daze, tearing his eyes away from Youngjae to glare at the younger two. “Alright, that’s enough please—“

Bambam and Yugyeom were young and certainly spoiled by the older members, Jinyoung in particular. It didn’t take very long after the group was formed for Jinyoung’s protectiveness to overtake, and he found himself graying in his twenties because he was constantly worrying about his boys. 

They were unruly and quite possibly the loudest boys known to mankind. But sometimes it seemed as though the younger kids were taking care of their hyungs as opposed to the other way around. 

“You’re so annoying!” Bambam screeched, and at that very moment, Jinyoung could see the sleepless weeks catching up to him. 

Jinyoung’s attempts to stop the fight went unnoticed and ignored as the two continued to argue, taunts and insults flying back and forth, reaching a fever pitch.

Yugyeom stood shaking with anger, fists clenched by his sides. If Jinyoung hadn’t been so on edge, he might have laughed at his giant baby who never seemed to cease being adorable. 

“I hate you! You’re so mean!” 

Jinyoung threw a look at Jaebum, who blinked back tiredly, before heaving himself up to put an end to their fight before it got completely out of hand. 

While Bambam and Yugyeom were best friends and practically brothers, that seemed to fly out the window when they quarrelled. 

“Ow!” BamBam had shoved Yugyeom, face screwed up in annoyance. 

“Hey, stop it!” Jackson admonished from the floor, arms still around Mark.  
Yugyeom retaliated, launching himself at Bam, forcefully shoving his best friend of his feet. 

“Guys!”

Out of the corner of his eye, Jinyoung noticed Youngjae’s head jerking out of his doze. The poor thing couldn’t get a break no matter how hard he tried and Jinyoung couldn’t stop the guilt that twisted in his stomach.

“Yugyeom!” He said disapprovingly, wrapping an arm around the younger boy to stop him from attacking BamBam. 

“The fucker pushed me!” 

“Shut up, you piece of shit!” Mark and Jackson’s eyes widened, knowing that with this type of language flying around, it wouldn’t be ending well for the younger kids. 

“HEY!” Jaebum roared furiously, effectively shutting them both down. Jinyoung felt his breath hitch as his stomach tightened. They’d been dating long enough for him to see Jaebum angry dozens of times, but it never ceased to make him nervous.

“You two are seriously pissing me off!” His patience had worn down, and the bags under his eyes attested to how trying the past few weeks had been. 

Bambam, who had a tendency to be stubborn began to whine, unhappy that he was in just as much trouble as Yugyeom. 

Jaebum breathed harshly, attempting to control his emotions. While in recent years he managed to learn to reign in his short-tempered streak, being mentally and physically exhausted made everything at least a hundred times more difficult. He never wanted to hit someone in anger, knowing full well it was completely wrong, especially when it was one of the kids.

Jinyoung saw his struggle and stepped in. “You are seriously skating on thin ice here, Bambam.” He said lowly for both Bambam and Jaebum’s sake.

“I don’t care!” Came the impudent retort, and the leader nearly snapped. “I don't care about any of it! This is so fucking stupid!” At the end of the day, Bambam was still practically a kid. He was Jinyoung and Jaebum’s wild child who joked and laughed hysterically but was also their young and impressionable boy who cried when Jackson’s teasing went too far or if he was pointed out too many times for making mistakes in the choreography.

Seeing that Jaebum was dangerously close to doing something he would regret, Jinyoung knelt down to meet Bambam’s eyes. “Stop being difficult.” He spoke sternly, but not unkindly, knowing that BamBam was going through a difficult time and his intentions were never really ill-intended. Jinyoung seemed to know his boys more than they knew themselves. “I know you’re tired, but we all are and it doesn’t give you a pass to be disrespectful, Bam.” 

Bambam opened his mouth to quip back but faltered under Jinyoung’s unwavering and clearly disappointed gaze. He crumbled, head hanging in shame. “Sorry.” He whispered, pushing himself up from the floor. 

Jinyoung fought the urge to sweep him up into a hug. He nodded to him as Jaebum placed a brief hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder in gratitude. Thankfully the boys were too embarrassed to look at him, for he was trembling as he fought the urge to ram his fist into the wall.

That was, of course, not to say they were off the hook. The earful they both received was heavy and laden with cursing, as Jaebum’s exhaustion blew the lid off of his usually calm reverie. 

“What gave you two the idea that you could swear at me, huh? Do you have a problem with me, you punks?” Jaebum was relentless when he was angry, and everyone in the team felt ashamed, even though he was directing himself to the younger two. “If you have something to say, say it now. Go on!” 

No one said a word. Yugyeom and BamBam’s heads remained bowed, both equally crestfallen as Jaebum managed to reduce them to two children.

Jaebum didn’t skirt around the issue when someone made a mistake. He was proud of his boys and never wanted to see them selling themselves short. He knew what they were capable of and strove to make sure they knew their mistakes and learned from them. 

“Do you have something to say to me? You apologize to Jinyoung but neither of you can even face me?” 

He was harsh when he needed to be, and knew how far to push the boys for them to learn. Yugyeom and Bambam certainly felt humiliated, cheeks flushing as Jaebum continued to reprimand them. 

“S-sorry, hyung.” Yugyeom said first, feeling small and utterly ashamed. 

“That’s it? Is that supposed to be enough?” Jaebum bit out furiously, “When I tell you to do something and you don’t listen to me, how is that supposed to make me feel as leader, huh?”

“I’m sorry, hyung.” Yugyeom said more clearly, forcing his eyes to peek through his bangs at his leader. “It was disrespectful to swear at you and fight when we have an important performance.” 

Yugyeom shuffled under Jaebum’s stern gaze, visibly sagging when Jaebum turned to Bambam. 

“I’m sorry, too. It was wrong of me to swear at you and not listen. I-I won’t do it again, hyung.” Bambam said, wringing his hands. 

“Look at me when you speak, Bambam.” 

Bambam’s head shot up, eyes wide with fear and he stuttered out his apology again. 

Jaebum shot a glare at the two of them, reigning himself in. The hand Jinyoung placed on his arm helped steady him. 

“Don’t the two of you have something to say to each other?” Jinyoung added sternly after a moment.

“Sorry.” Bambam muttered quickly, avoiding Yugyeom’s eyes.

“Yeah, sorry.” Came the meek response. 

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, but accepted it, knowing they’d work it out in their own way.

“I think,” Jackson started, gently helping Mark up, “I think we should break for the night.”

Jaebum frowned, ready to insist on at least another few more hours of practice but stopped himself, surveying his team. Youngjae was still flopped on the floor, looking ready to burst into tears from frustration. Mark was leaning heavily on Jackson who had wrapped his arms his torso to hold both of them up. Yugyeom and Bambam were still avoiding eye contact from everyone, favouring the floor. But Jaebum could see the weighted shoulders and fatigue. Jinyoung’s hand had crept down and he instinctively clasped his fingers. He could feel Jinyoung’s expectant gaze without even needing to look at him. 

They had another week to prepare for the show and they had just come back from Japan, so they really did deserve a break.

He also wasn’t a sadist.

And the look of gratitude and relief Jinyoung gave him followed by the peck on his cheek after he told Jackson to call their managers to let them know they were going home reassured him that he had made the right decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dec 15, 2017


	2. Chapter 2

Jinyoung wasn’t sure if it was considered late at night or just early morning. His body seemed to only allow a few hours of sleep lately, jerking awake at wee hours. He pressed his face into Jaebum’s chest, savouring the warmth. Knowing he wouldn’t be going back to sleep, he reluctantly pried Jaebum’s arms off him and rolled out of their bed with a regretful sigh. He watched Jaebum shuffle in his sleep at the loss, eyebrows drawing together briefly, to which Jinyoung placed a chaste kiss to resettle him.

He stumbled to the small living room, the floor cold, hard and unwelcoming to his feet. The couch was a definite downgrade from Jaebum’s arms. He pulled the thin blanket over his legs before settling to look out the window at the dark sky and sparse trees illuminated by the yellow streetlights, a sight so familiar that it would eventually lull him asleep. 

They had filed into the dorm hours ago, trekking snow all over the entrance that Jaebum didn’t even have the heart to nag about. He did throw a warning look to Jackson who was doing an imitation of Coco drying herself after a bath as he tried to shake the snow off of his coat, most of which ended up on the rest of the boys, eliciting complaints from everyone except Mark, who cracked a smile and a quiet laugh to Jackson's triumph.

It was miraculous how quickly they all managed to shower and pile themselves in the living room, where Jinyoung had set up the dinner their managers had kindly ordered for them. They clambered around the table, settling themselves on the floor as they passed rice around.

“Thank you for the food!” Mark declared before everyone dug in, and the only sounds heard were chewing and the quiet TV. 

Jinyoung shared a tired smile with Jaebum as he forced more food into his bowl, to which Jaebum placed a kiss on Jinyoung’s hand in front of him, knowing it was pointless to resist. 

Jackson was back to trying to make Mark laugh, which he had been putting forth more effort into doing lately. Everyone knew Mark was quiet, but he seemed to shut down when under stress, a fact that worried Jackson. He had confessed to Jaebum some weeks ago, and the leader assured him that simply being there for him would suffice in keeping Mark grounded. And it seemed to be working. Mark was less irritable, choosing instead to cling to Jackson’s side, basking in the extra affection. 

“Slow down, Bam, or you’ll choke.” Jinyoung said quietly to the boy beside him, reaching over Jaebum with his spoon to feed Yugyeom, who was merely picking through his food; something Jinyoung never liked to see especially from his youngest.

Bambam winced, swallowing a particularly large mouthful. He ducked his head, setting his chopsticks down as pink crept up his cheeks. 

“No, it’s okay, Bam. No one’s angry anymore.” Jinyoung murmured, offering a spoon of rice to his lips. After a split second of hesitation, BamBam was eating small bites, leaning against Jinyoung’s shoulder, not bothering to pick up his chopsticks after that because he really didn’t need to as Jinyoung continued to alternate between eating and feeding BamBam. 

Jinyoung didn’t want to admit it, but he loved it when they were like this; pliant and soft. Especially BamBam, who never allowed himself to be babied. He had grown out of that stage long ago, and one day Jinyoung found himself face to face with less of a baby and more of a young man who dodged him when Jinyoung had tried to hug him. It pained him as he tearfully told Jaebum who offered a watery smile, a comforting hug, and a gentle explanation that it was inevitable that BamBam would grow up. 

His qualms about BamBam were curbed by moments like this. He never liked seeing any of them worked to the bone and far too exhausted to be themselves, but seeing BamBam close to him and refusing to let him go made his heart swell. So sue him. 

“Good, Gyeom?” Jaebum asked quietly, to which he received a shy nod. “Finish all your rice, okay?” 

Jinyoung and Jaebum knew their younger boys were sensitive and embarrassed over the events that transpired today, thus explaining the redness splotching Yugyeom’s cheeks when Jaebum rubbed a hand on his back, his way of showing that all was forgiven.

The team was uncharacteristically quiet as they ate. Snow continued to fall outside, the sun sinking behind the city. Usually their evenings were filled with chaos as the TV blared loudly over their chatter. Jackson and BamBam seemed to find dinner the optimal time to wrestle and more times than Jinyoung could tolerate food ended up on someone, which would result in loud complaints and shouting from Jaebum and Jinyoung.

But today, they spoke in hushed whispers between bites, and Jaebum found a warmth spreading across his chest. He attributed it to the spicy food, but Jinyoung would snort at him and explain later that it was just him being a sentimental old man who was proud of his family. Perhaps it was because it had been far too long since they’d had an actual meal together. Perhaps the fight today had been a blessing in disguise, wearing them out and making them all far too tolerant of each other than they normally would've allowed. They were clinging onto the comfort of a rare quiet moment after the whirlwind of the past few weeks. 

Jackson was the first to finish eating among them, reaching out to clear their dishes and the empty takeout cartons. 

“Thank you, Jackson.” Jinyoung said as he helped both BamBam and Yugyeom up to shuffle them down the hall and into their bathroom to prepare for bed. Too sleepy to even tease each other as they usually did, the boys leaned on each other as they brushed their teeth, their fight becoming a distant memory.

“We have practice tomorrow, okay?” Jinyoung said, resting against the frame of the bathroom door as he watched them splash water onto their faces. 

“Do we have to?” BamBam managed to sound out through a jaw-cracking yawn as he waited for Yugyeom to finish up. At the very least, even if they outgrew Jinyoung in some way or another, they had each other. He found himself squashing down the overwhelming sense of fondness.

Jinyoung followed them to their room, “You know the answer to that, Bam.”

It took a lot out of him to resist tucking his boys into bed. He stood by the door, watching Yugyeom and BamBam shuffle into their beds, burying themselves securely under their blankets. Satisfied that they made it safe and sound to bed, Jinyoung flicked off the light switch.

“Good night, hyung.” Yugyeom called out, muffled by the sheets tucked up to his chin. 

“Good night, Yugyeom. You worked hard today.” 

“Really?” 

“Of course you did. Sleep well, okay?”

BamBam was already asleep, lips parted as his breathing evened out and he fell into a deep sleep. 

“Baby,” Jaebum called from the living room, who had been eating the remnants of their dinner, perpetually ravenous. Jinyoung could’ve sworn he felt his heart clench as Youngjae was slowly nodding asleep in danger of falling face-first into his half eaten plate. 

Jinyoung threw a pained smile to Jaebum who chuckled into his cheek before a quick peck, balancing dirty plates and cutlery as he made his way to the kitchen to supervise what sounded like a disaster in the making with Jackson alone with Mark. 

Kneeling beside Youngjae, Jinyoung gently jostled him his shoulder. “Youngjae? You didn’t finish your food.” 

Youngjae’s face screwed up in annoyance as he was, once again, woken up. He turned to bury himself into Jinyoung’s neck, resting himself against him and Jinyoung couldn’t help himself as his fingers instinctively rubbed the back of Youngjae’s neck.

“Let’s go to bed, okay?” 

He coaxed him to stand up. “Yeah, I know it’s difficult.” He murmured as Youngjae attached himself to Jinyoung like a limpet, allowing himself to be half pulled and half dragged to bed. 

It took a lot of coaxing and shushing as Jinyoung resettled Youngjae into his bed, tucking the sheets around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feb 24, 2018


End file.
